Waiting

Waiting for God to answer our prayers can be quite taxing on the mind sometimes, having the patience and trust in God is what it takes to accomplish this. I was adopted at the age of 4 to a very kind and loving family, but the thousands of thoughts and questions on why I was put up for adoption plagued my mind growing up. Was I not good enough, was I the result of something bad, or just an unhappy accident? I never truly fit in anywhere and had little to no self -worth. Making friends was quite hard because it never felt like anyone could fully understand me. I would get so angry and yell at God with clenched fists wondering why I felt so unloved and abandoned. Other nights I would just pray that I could meet my biological father, just to know what I did to make him want to leave me. Getting into fights at school was a regular occurrence and drugs and alcohol helped to ease the pain or so I thought. When I was about 25 or so I ended up getting a hold of some of my biological father’s family and they had no idea where he was and that was the end of my searching for him. Fast forward to the age of 40, my current age, that same family that I had reached out to called me and asked if they could give me his phone number, that he wanted to get in touch with me. The range of emotions that went through me at that moment was a lot but I accepted the phone number and called him the next day. Come to find out he didn’t live all that far from me, about 40 minutes and after a little while of talking we agreed to meet. On my drive up to meet him and his family I prayed to God that this visit would be perfect, nothing would be brought up that didn’t need to be there. I wanted just to be reunited and to maybe establish a future friendship. The second part of my prayer was telling God that he forgave me for so many things and I want to be able to forgive as he does. We went out to lunch and I got to meet several of his family members it was like talking to myself when I spoke with him. Nothing was said out of anger or despair or with hurt feelings when he tried to explain I actually stopped him and said I forgive you, what’s done is done I just want to have a relationship with you now. We ended up having a perfect conversation both of us got closure and felt good with one another. I got to say again and again God is great, even though it felt like an eternity to have this closure it was worth every second. I do believe that if our reunion had been a number of years ago, the outcome would not have been great it probably would have been devastating and we never would have spoken again. I needed these last couple of years being in God’s word and trusting in our Lord and savior to get me through this hardship. In doing so victory was won on both sides praise God for that. Dear heavenly father thank you so much for standing by me through thick and thin for having a plan adjusted just for me. In Jesus name Amen

Published by Matthew, Karen, and God

Karen Guthrie, a retired Bank Manager, Vice President, and Matthew Moore, who works in construction, are members of the same church. In March 2014, they both joined the Oakdale Rescue Mission Board of Directors. They started sharing their stories with one another on how God has greatly impacted their lives.

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